Psychologist tips to overcome shyness
If someone invites you to a party and you are a bit shy and afraid to go, you can encourage yourself: 40% of people are shy, and shyness cannot be a burden for life.
Psychologists believe that shy people can try to integrate into a new social environment and gradually overcome shyness.
Bernardo Carducci is a professor of the Shy Research Center at the well-known Southeast University of the University. He specializes in shy psychology. He was very shy in some periods.Never had a dating experience.
In fact, shyness can be overcome.
This is because the formation of shyness requires a feeling of self, and this feeling will not appear until 18 months after birth. It is manifested as overly embarrassing, underestimating oneself, not confident, etc., as if there is a mirror in front of them.
“Genes also seem to be one of the reasons for shyness.
15% of newborns are born with a “suppressive personality,” meaning they have a sense of stress when responding to new things or new experiences.
For example, the explosion of balloons may scare them.
”If one of the twin brothers is shy, the other may also have it,” said Jonathan Cheek, a psychologist at the University of Massachusetts at Welzley.
However, this does not mean that shyness is determined by genetic factors, or that shyness is insurmountable.
It’s just that some people may be more shy than others.
“Caducci said,” Shy people sometimes want to go out and make friends with more people, but they often don’t know what to do.
In a new social environment, they do not go well when making friends, because shy people are too shy.
If they don’t feel well, they will ‘run away’ soon.
“In the end, shy people ignore activities within a limited social context, and they like to socialize in such a small circle and do the same thing over and over instead of expanding into new social areas.
Calducci points out that shyness has nothing to do with self-esteem. Some people may be confident in some aspects and even speak in front of some people, but they will feel anxious once they face the personality of strangers.
There are several ways to overcome shyness.
The first is relaxation training.
You can imagine yourself in a different social environment, talking at a slower rate, taking deep breaths to stay calm.
In addition, you can gradually expand your social scope.
“When you enter a new social environment, no one knows if you are shy.
At such times, you can let go of yourself and socialize with others.
According to Calducci and Cheek, it is important to overcome shyness in stages.
For example, if a shy person wants to date a female colleague, the first thing he should do is to talk to the female colleague and talk about some work.
“Before talking to a female colleague, he should first find a friend and practice his personality.
When he meets a female colleague, it may be natural to talk.
Slowly, the personality with colleagues will become more and more smooth.
”People should understand that they have the courage to face all failures.
Sometimes your personality object ignores you not because he doesn’t want to talk to you.